Technology Rules or the I's have it.

Our granddaughter, Eva Juliet, and her Dad, Ivan, flew in from St. Louis to visit for the weekend. I could not resist taking this photo. Ivan on computer and Eva watching kiddie videos on her Dad's I- phone. Not pictured were Grandma and Grandpa, aka Jeanne and Harry, reading on their Kindles.

Technology changes how we connect with each other and how we can connect to the world. Sometimes the technological devices we use everyday can be a bit like the pacifier Eva has in her mouth. Comforting us, allowing us to detach into our own little worlds; learning, listening, relaxing.

In the fifties when the television was a relatively new technology, I was growing up in a house in northeast Minneapolis where the television was always on. Kids and adults today are not limited to the simple technology of television. Today we can watch movies on demand, play video games, send text messages while we drive. And of course let's not forget facebook, twitter, books on tape, I-tunes and now we have the amazing I-pad too!

We can all be plugged in and turned on much of the day. Sometimes that is great, sometimes not. Today at the grocery store the clerk was trying to communicate with the woman whose groceries she was scanning, but the woman was on her cell phone oblivious to the need to communicate with the person right in front of her. We all have experienced drivers who are more focused on their cell phone conversation than on their driving. Our spouses, significant others, friends, family members, co-workers and our fellow drivers may indeed appreciate a little less technology and a little more personal attention.

In the sixties my family graduated to not only having a television in the living room but in the kitchen as well. This meant we didn't have to talk to each other during dinner because the television was doing the talking for us. When I met my first husband's family I was astounded that his family actually talked to each other during dinner. There wasn't a television in their dining room or their kitchen. Many times the family I married into would sit around the table long after dinner was over still talking to each other. I loved it! When I was doing research for my Master's Degree thesis, I read an extensive article which found that the only common variable that could be singled our for a child's success in school was whether the child experienced a family dinner several times a week where the adults and children talked to each other. Simple yes, but such experiences are not the norm in our country where only 60% of our kids do not graduate from high school.

When I visited my brother-in-law's family in Colombia years back, I vividly recall how his large family could sit in their television free living room and just talk and laugh with each other for hours. I was shocked. My memories of our family gatherings as a child always included the television being the focus of attention. Often we would all be watching a football game with the women folk talking quietly so as not to disturb the men folk watching the game. Those watching the game were often yelling at the screen as if what they said could be heard by the players and coach. Sometimes it was just fine to be in the kitchen washing the dishes. I think my intense dislike of football goes back to these childhood memories.

On a trip to Spain a couple years back, the adult Spaniards we taught English through conversation from 9-4 each day would dance every night into the wee hours of the morning. They would consistently be at breakfast by eight a.m., a bit blurry eyed, but cheerful. We Americans thought the Spaniards were crazy. We Americans didn't dance, we complained, feeling deprived in this incredibly remote and beautiful mountain setting because there were no televisions and only one computer all 20 of us had to share. OMG!!!

Being connected to others in face to face conversation or dancing is different than being connected to the world through technology. (Steve Jobs would probably disagree with me.) Today's technology is amazing, I love all of it, but sometimes a technology free zone is nice too. (would that zone have to include my Kindle?) I should learn to dance!