Phoebe re-visits her King Charles's Head

We had our hunches about Arnold and his tendency to grope women other than his wife. We thought there was probably more to the story and of course now there is. The list of famous men we women love to hate gets longer every day. The media is having a heyday with all the dirty laundry Maria and Arnold were not able to get into the washing machine fast enough. The psychologists weigh in once again with their theory that power, money, and fame are the dangerous cocktail mix that makes such men as the Terminator feel entitled. Most men, even those who lack money or fame, aren't shocked by revelations of celebrity infidelity. (What is shocking, says our European Correspondent and Editor, is that Americans consider fidelity a qualification for political leadership.) Women on the other hand, have a tendency to express shock and righteous indignation when this sort of scandal hits.

It would be nice if there were some sort of over-the-counter test kit one could buy at the drugstore that could predict accurately the likelihood of a person's tendency toward infidelity. They could call it "CheatorNot." You and your partner could both buy the kit and share your results before you tied the knot. Sort of like the pregnancy test kits everyone uses now, or the blood-sugar monitors you can buy at Walgreen's. One would pee or spit into a cup or prick one's finger to determine whether one is or is not infidelity prone. Science does magical things nowadays. There are genetic marker tests that predict all sorts of things, why not a genetic marker test for infidelity that can be bought at CVS?

Actually the social scientists have developed a reliable personality profile of those who are most likely to cheat, but most people don't bother reading such research or even know that it exists at all. A quick, easy and accurate drug-store test that can identify those of us likely to cheat could save a lot time and a lot of heartache. Then, when you learn of your partners' indiscretions later on in your relationship, you would only have yourself to blame. "Damn!" you would say to yourself, "I knew I shouldn't have married him/her after I saw the test results!" Or, "I knew I should have told him I wouldn't live with him unless he took that test."

Yes, all's fair in love and war, of course, but infidelity often comes as a terrible blow to the unsuspecting. A bonus shock, of course for the wronged partner, is to learn of a child being involved, like the 10-year-old child in this week's revelation. Ninety percent of married couples say they disapprove of infidelity, although 60% of men and 40% of women cheat at some point in their marriages. Figure that one out!

Betrayed spouses (spice?) can easily be kept in the dark, either because they are prone to denial or because the cheater is a master of deception, or both. Infidelity can feel like being ambushed and then being left to lick your wounds all alone. It is naive to be shocked when human beings are capable of betraying another human being, even their spouse. Affairs and infidelity have, after all, been going on from the get-go. If and when it happens to you, it is natural to feel foolish, humiliated, angry and yes, shocked. You may look back and see the signs you chose to ignore.

In recent tales of celebrity infidelity, we have watched some woman who has been wronged demonstrate real grace and character, while the cheating significant others come out looking like real scumbags totally devoid of grace and totally lacking in character. My favorite fictional scorned woman is played by Julianne Margolis on the television show The Good Wife. She suffers her humiliation with true grit and style. As did Sandra Bullock. Sandy cried, no sobbed when Jesse told her about the call girl, but then the story goes she stopped crying, put on her sunglasses and walked out the door never to see her outlaw husband again. Elin Woods kept a low profile all the way to her multi-million dollar settlement with Tiger. Although, the low profile came after she hit him with one of his golf clubs. Some cheaters do redeem themselves, some even get their own shows on CNN.

Some ask how these high profile women could be so stupid. I say, get off your high horse. We all know Hilary Clinton is not stupid. We human beings, high profile or not, can be naive (OK, stupid) when it comes to love and marriage because we do put on our rose-colored glasses or our blinders when it comes to those we love. Let's quit pretending we are shocked by infidelity and let's also admit how much we all love a good sex scandal.

Women will always be attracted to men who are and rich and/or powerful. Such men, back in our cave days, were the men who had the best cave and the best clubs. In other words, good fathers and providers when we had to stay home with the kids around the fire. Men are biologically hard-wired to spread their love around more than women. Women get pregnant, and in this state, sex is not their first priority. Sex is always a man's first priority. We are only a few thousand years away from the behaviors which kept our species thriving on the planet. Evolution is a long process and though we may all say we want fidelity in marriage, we are fighting a biology that goes back thousands and thousands of years.

If there were an infidelity test at the drug store, how many of us would use it and share its results with the one we love? I think most people would prefer to live with the blinders pulled down over their eyes and take the risk of being betrayed. Remember, love is blind after all. Ask Helena whether all's well that ends well.