Old dog, new tricks.

Just when this old dog thought she was doing OK in the new classroom teacher technology department, I began to notice that my teacher lexicon was out of date. More new tricks to learn! I have always addressed my young classroom inhabitants in a variety of ways: class, kids, students, you guys. The young teachers in one of the districts I sub in are trained to refer to their students as "friends." "Friends, we are going to have a guest speaker today." "Friends, I need your attention, please." Truthfully, I find this language a bit disingenuous if not nauseating.

I think of teachers as surrogate parents, adults responsible for a child's academic and social development during the school day. In my old-fashioned world, friends are people who have your best interests at heart, as teachers do, but friends do not boss you around for your own good as a good teacher does. If your friends are bossing you around they probably are not your friends for long (been there!). Besides, since when would all your teachers or classmates be your friends???

The other shift in teacher speak in this district is the constant use of the phrase, "Make a good choice." When Susie is acting like a total brat the teacher now says; "Susie it doesn't look like you are making a good choice by throwing that block at Bobbie." "Please make a better choice." What if the child thinks a good choice would be to throw the block instead at the teacher who just reprimanded her?

In such a situation I instinctively tell the child, "Stop throwing that block, and if you do that again you will be sitting in the time-out chair until I tell you to get up." It's a rare child that I have found throwing the block again. It's a rare child who does not need to be told that certain behavior is not tolerated, plain and simple. Children are like puppies, they respond to rewards and to being socially ostracized. I remember giving my daughter a time out when she was two and a half or so, and there were few time outs and tantrums after that. Sometimes all it takes is a swift response by the teacher, invoking the time out chair or corner, and that bad behavior ceases, sometimes never to be seen again. The key is to be swift and not to engage in the child's protest, tears or arguments. When I observe a teacher arguing with a child it makes me cringe!!!

Making choices is a constant predicament of human life, and it takes time to learn how to make good choices. The most effective way to teach a child to make good choices is by modeling good choice behavior yourself and setting limits for children at every turn. Sometimes it is best not to give the child a choice at all. Giving children a long list of choices or being afraid or too lazy to discipline them is asking for trouble. Children who have not been given clear boundaries become manipulative, and children who are used to always getting what they want are not pleasant children to be around.

I am very strict nowadays in my teaching: this is due in part to the nature of subbing and in part a response to our culture of limitless choice. In truth, students are relieved to have a strict sub. Children are happier and feel safer with adults who take charge and set limits. Of course, the children who have been allowed to be in charge fight hard to keep their control. Parents of the best behaved children in class always told me they did a lot of disciplining at home. These parents were often surprised but happy to hear their children behaved well in class. The students who behaved the worst often had parents who could not believe their children were behavior problems. They would act shocked when you told them their child frequently misbehaved (talk about disingenuous!). As a teacher, I know full well that a child's classroom behavior is a direct result of how the child is parented.

So, this old dog teacher will continue in her old-fashioned ways, just as the older generation always does. She may be hip to the new technology, but she will resist the new language and she will remain fond of limited choices for her students. Let's face it .... she should probably be put out to pasture!!!! Or maybe some of the younger teachers would like to put her in the dog house.

*I had a nice moment last week. Two middle schoolers stayed after class, and when I asked them what was up, they said they wanted to tell me that their class had never behaved so well. I am old fashioned but I am still kick'in!!!